提到法庭，不自觉会脑补出这样的画风：庄重、严肃，充满紧张感。
亦或是下图中律师侃侃而谈的样子
但在实际情况中，法庭上常常会出现一些啼笑皆非的片段，下面我们就一起来看看外国法庭中那些爆笑实录。
以下内容来自于一本叫做《Disorder in the American Courts》（《美国法庭闹剧》）的书，所有内容都是真实发生在美国法庭上的对话，逐字逐句由强忍笑意控制自己保持镇静的法庭书录员记录下来的。
场景一
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
律师：你早上听到你丈夫说的第一句话是什么？
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
证人：他说‘我在哪，cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
律师：这有什么让你沮丧的吗？
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
证人：我的名字是susan!
场景二
ATTORNEY:How was your first marriage terminated?
律师：你第一次婚姻是怎么结束的？
WITNESS:By death.
证人：因为死亡。
ATTORNEY:And by whose death was it terminated?
律师：是因为谁的死亡而结束的？
WITNESS:Take a guess.
证人：你觉得呢？
场景三
ATTORNEY:Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
律师：医生，你有多少次解剖是在死人身上进行的？
WITNESS:All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
证人：所有都是，活人一般都忍不了。
场景四
ATTORNEY:Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
律师：你还记得你检查尸体的时间吗？
WITNESS:The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
证人：解剖是晚上八点半开始的。
ATTORNEY:And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
律师：所以邓盾先生那时候已经死了？
WITNESS:If not, he was by the time I finished.
证人：如果没有，尸体解剖之后他肯定死了……
场景五
ATTORNEY:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
律师：碰撞发生时,你的车子在几档?
WITNESS:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
证人：我穿着GUCCI套衫，锐步鞋。
引申：Gear有多种含义，一是汽车排档的档位，二是身上为特定目的而穿的装备、衣物。这里attorney问的是“撞车的时候你在什么档位”，证人理解成“撞车的时候你穿戴如何”，于是回答“我穿Gucci汗衫和锐步鞋”。
场景六
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
律师：这个重症肌无力影响你的记忆力吗？
WITNESS: Yes.
证人：影响。
ATTORNEY:And in what ways does it affect your memory?
律师：那么它是以什么方式影响你的记忆力的呢？
WITNESS:I forget.
证人：我忘了
ATTORNEY:You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
律师：你忘了？你能给我们一个例子说说你忘了什么事儿吗……
场景七
ATTORNEY:She had three children, right?
律师：她有三个孩子，对吗？
WITNESS:Yes.
证人：是的
ATTORNEY:How many were boys?
律师：几个男孩？
WITNESS:None.
证人：没有男孩
ATTORNEY:Were there any girls?
律师：那有女孩吗？
W ITNESS:Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
证人：尊敬的法官，我想我需要另外一个律师，可以换一个新的给我吗？
场景八
ATTORNEY:Can you describe the individual?
律师：你能描述那人的特征吗？
WITNESS:He was about medium height and had a beard.
证人：他中等个头，留着胡子。
ATTORNEY:Was this a male or a female?
律师：那他是男是女？
WITNESS:Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
证人：除非镇上有马戏团表演，否则我猜是男的。（有胡子当然是男的！）
场景九
ATTORNEY:ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
律师：你所有的答复必须都是口头的，明白了？你念的哪一所学校？
WITNESS:Oral.
证人：口头的
场景十
ATTORNEY:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
律师：医生，你在解剖前，检查脉搏了吗？
WITNESS:No.
证人：没有
ATTORNEY:Did you check for blood pressure?
律师：你检查血压了吗？
WITNESS:No.
证人：没有
ATTORNEY:Did you check for breathing?
律师：你检查呼吸了吗？
WITNESS:No.
证人：没有
ATTORNEY:So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
律师：那么这就是说，当你开始进行解剖的时候，病人有可能还活着？
WITNESS:No.
证人：不可能
ATTORNEY:How can you be so sure, Doctor?
律师：你怎么能这么肯定呢，医生？
WITNESS:Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
证人：因为当时他的大脑在我操作台的罐子里装着。
ATTORNEY:I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
律师：我明白了，但不管怎样，有没有可能当时病人还活着呢？
WITNESS:Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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