中国人大多要面子。有句俗话说得好，啥也不怕丢，就是怕丢脸。
怕丢脸事小，但因为过分讲究“面子”而隐瞒错误、甚至拒绝承担责任，就得不偿失了。
最近，就有老外给我们来稿，吐槽中国人过分要面子这事儿。中国人因为“怕丢脸”而闹出的麻烦，他已经忍无可忍了——
Cyril Saidah, France
有句话在中国很少能听到：“我错了。”
There is one thing you will seldom hear in China: “It's my fault.”
在西方，说句“我错了”简直太平常，几乎无论谁犯个小错都会来上这么一句。敢于立即承认错误亡羊补牢，也是俺们的优点嘛。但是在中国，总感觉承认错误是件十分艰难的事儿，大多数人都不愿意这么干。
In the West, saying “My bad” is heard as frequently as anyone makes a mistake. We pride ourselves on admitting our faults so as to quickly remedy the situation. But here in China, it seems that admitting a mistake is a major concession that most people are utterly unwilling to do.
是的，中国社会各个层面的人都不愿或者懒得道歉——无论是朝你猛按喇叭的司机（明明人行道是绿灯啊喂），还是卖过期蔬菜被你抓了现行却朝你发脾气的大妈，亦或是自己不熟悉路却怪你的地方太偏的的哥。
You will witness this at every level of Chinese society, from the car that honks at YOU while you cross the street even though it's your green, to the vegetable lady at the market who gets angry at YOU when you catch her selling rotten produce, to the taxi driver who blames YOU for getting him lost just because he was unfamiliar with your destination.
好吧不难理解，中国人最怕丢面子了。要他们承认错误、自己收拾烂摊子？那多丢面啊！那感觉，估计和一个西方人走在大街上被人迎面冲来呼了一巴掌差不多。
It should be first understood that, in the eyes of the Chinese, taking responsibility and coming clean on a dispute puts that person in a position of “losing face,” which is the worst thing that can happen to a Chinese. Think of it as the Western equivalent of getting bitch-slapped by someone in public.
所以说，如果在中国的老外真碰到这种情况，你就精彩二选一吧：要么接受对方虚情假意的借口，甭让对方尴尬；要么你和对方较真到底，让他最后羞愧地狗带(go die). 觉得我夸张了？相信我，中国人会想尽一切办法避免自个儿丢脸的！
Now, when foreigners in China are placed in a situation where your Chinese interlocutor is doing everything to avoid losing face – and trust me, they will try anything – you either just accept their insincere excuse knowing that you spared them from embarrassment, or you drag that person deeper into their contradiction until they are dying of shame.
嗯，在你二选一之前，我得先科普下两种常见的丢脸形式。第一种是“一对一丢脸”，也就是只在你一个人面前丢了脸。虽然今后对方估计是不敢再直视你了，但这事儿毕竟只有天知地知你知他知，还不算太惨。第二种则是“公开丢脸”，这可就厉害了——在大庭广众之下丢脸有多没法忍？我相信大多数中国人宁愿永远别回这地儿待了！
But before you proceed down one of those two paths, be aware that there are essentially two kinds of losing face. The first is “one-on-one losing face,” where they'll never be able to look you in the eyes again without turning red, but at least nobody else knows. The second, and most dreaded, is “losing face in public,” which is so unbearable to most Chinese that they would rather be exiled from society than face onlookers.
噢对了，“公开丢脸”都还有两种不同的类型：工作方面的和工作之外的。工作之外的丢脸是啥？举个例子吧：比方说你在邻居家门口嚷嚷，说自个儿媳妇外遇给你带绿帽子了。然后，你媳妇儿估计很快就会搬离这篇小区，甚至离开这座城市，绝不愿意留下来继续听人嚼舌根。
“Losing face in public” can further be divided into two circumstances: social and professional. An example of social would be like accusing your wife in front of neighbors of having a secret lover. She would sooner move apartments or cities after that than return to her own community to face whispers and gossip.
至于工作方面的“丢脸”，我可是碰到过好几次这种情况了。在上海，我的工作要求我管理大量的工业产品，故而不得不随时和中国厂方的员工沟通：从流水线上的装配小妹，到工厂的老板和负责人，应有尽有。
For professional losing face, I actually have quite a bit of experience with this. In my line of work here in Shanghai, I have to manage numerous industrial productions, which requires me to constantly deal with Chinese factory employees of all levels, from assembly line girls to factory bosses to CEOs.
产品出点问题并不鲜见，这很正常。对此西方的老板就会大方承认问题，并且迅速着手去解决，而中国的老板则恰恰相反——他们会把问题藏着掖着，怀揣侥幸地希望没人会发现。但是这咋可能呢！反正每次我都把问题给揪出来了！我不得不一次又一次地花大量的时间从这些花样百出的谎言与借口里抽丝剥茧！他们何必如此花样作死？还不就是特么地怕丢面子！
Production problems are quite frequent, which is normal, but as opposed to disclosing the issue and attempting to resolve it expediently, which is how Western bosses would, here in China local bosses prefer to try to conceal the problem in the hopes that nobody finds out. The thing is, I always find out! But it wastes an enormous amount of my time to have to dig through all the layers of lies and deceit purposely thrown in my path by these bosses. All because he didn't want to lose damn face.
更荒谬的是，你都把问题给他们指出来了，他们也都会各种打马虎眼各种搪塞。什么“不关我事”“没办法”“因为这样那样”……就是听不到一句真心实意的“是我错了很抱歉，如何才能补救？”
And this is where it gets even more absurd, because even if you call a Chinese out on their mistake, the only thing you'll hear back from them is “It's not my fault!” (bu guan wo shi) or “It couldn't be helped” (mei banfa) or “It was because of this-and-that!” The very last thing they'll ever be willing to tell you is “Yes sir, it was my mistake. I'm very sorry, how can I fix it?”
讲真，因为中国“要面子”而多耗费的时间（比如费时去填补生产线上的错误），这些多耗的时间凑在一块儿，都能有个好几十年甚至上百年了吧？发现问题不解决，而是想方设法去掩盖，时候查出来了再去弥补，这样一番折腾下来又多浪费了多少时间？如果中国人把花在撒谎和找幼稚借口的精力和心思，全用在干正事上，中国估计早就发展成一个超级大国了！
All told, I wonder how many years, decades or even centuries “face” has cost China in terms of lost production hours. How much more time have Chinese bosses spent covering up their mistakes instead of simply disclosing and resolving them? China might very well already be the world's superpower by now if it hadn't wasted so much time spinning lies and childish excuses every time someone mistepped.
写了这么多，我并不是要批评指责谁。我只希望下一代的中国年轻人，能摒弃这荒谬而又过时的“面子”，真正地去正视错误、承担责任。渐渐地你们就会发现，你们的勇气与担当会受到更多的尊重，而社会也应你们的努力而变得更加有序与高效。
I'm writing this not to criticize but to compel the next generation of Chinese to abandon the ridiculously prehistoric custom of “face” and start facing up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions. You'll be surprised how much more people will respect you, and how much more efficiently your society will operate.
原文：Cyril Saidah
翻译：lanlan
图：Lu Ting
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