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近日,特朗普提出的“注射消毒液杀死病毒”的荒谬建议招来大规模批判,虽然他后来改口说那是一种“讽刺”,但大家并不买账。

向来毒舌的脱口秀狠人崔娃(Trevor Noah)便在他的节目中把特朗普好好地挖苦了一番。

From the beginning of this crisis, Donald Trump has been saying a lot of not-smart things.

从这场疫情爆发开始,特朗普就一直在说一些不过脑子的话。

He said the coronavirus will disappear like a miracle. He said people had nothing to lose by experimenting with hydroxychloroquine. And he even said that the virus can’t see you if you don’t move. I think he wasconfusingit with Jurassic Park.

他说“新冠病毒会奇迹般地消失”;“人们不妨尝试使用羟基氯喹(抗疟疾药物),也不会有什么损失”。他甚至说“只要你不动,病毒就看不到你”。我怀疑他是把病毒和侏罗纪公园搞混了。

对,就是下面这个图

↓↓↓

电影《侏罗纪公园》剧照

But a few days ago, as you’ve probably heard by now, President Trump created shock waves of stupidity with his latest, and probably greatest, unlicensed medical opinion yet.

但是相信你们也都听说了,几天前,总统特朗普先生提出了他最新出炉的,可能也是最“伟大的”、没有经过认证的医学建议,愚蠢至极,令人哗然。

This is maybe the first time in documented history that we’ve seen someone not thinking out loud.

这恐怕是有史以来我们第一次看到有人竟然不是自言自语说出这样的话(而是在大庭广众之下)。

Injectingdisinfectantinto your body? This is the problem when the dumbest persons in the room thinks they’re the smartest person. You know? Trump is likeNevilleLongbottom, but withHermione’s confidence.

把消毒剂注射进身体?这就好像是一个房间里最愚蠢的人以为他们自己是最聪明的人!你知道吗?特朗普本来是像纳威·隆巴顿,却有着赫敏那样的自信。

(注:这两人都是《哈利波特》里面的人物,前者没有什么天分,后者则是妥妥的学霸)

And I almost don’t evenblameTrump, because there’s no way he even understands whatbleachis. Like, do you think Donald Trump has ever cleaned anything in his life? Do you think he’s ever actually used disinfectant? Cleaning supplies might as well bemagical potionsto him.

我甚至都不想责备特朗普,因为他甚至不可能漂白剂是什么。你觉得特朗普在生活中会自己清理什么东西吗?你觉得他用过消毒剂吗?在他眼里,消毒产品恐怕是魔法药水一样神奇的存在。

I dropped a hamburger on thecarpet. Then some Mexican lady came in with some Clorox, sprayed it on the carpet, said somespellin Spanish, and then it was gone.

(此处开始模仿特朗普说话,表演特朗普在生活中可能出现的一幕)

我把一个汉堡掉到地毯上了!这时,某个墨西哥女佣拿着一瓶漂白剂走过来,喷到地毯上,用西班牙语念了一些咒语,然后,污渍就不见啦!

Now, as crazy as the disinfectant line was, I don’t think we should be so quick todismissTrump’s UV light idea. Because Trump spends most of his time under UV light, and other than looking like hickory-smoked bacon, he’s the healthiest man in the world.

现在我们来说说另一个和“注射消毒剂”一样疯狂的想法:用紫外线杀毒,这个想法我倒是觉得不该贸然否定。因为特朗普自己就是大部分时间都在紫外线下(嘲讽他喜欢在聚光灯下),看起来不仅不像胡桃木烟熏过的腊肉,反而是全世界最健康的人!

I mean, he’s even outlived Kim Jong-un, a man half his age. Prove me wrong, Kim! If you’re still alive, follow me back on Twitter.

我是说,他甚至活过了Jin Zhengen,后者只活了他一半的年龄!

(此时戏精再次上身,向JinZhengen喊话)

你要是还活着,就在推特上回粉我啊!

(咳咳,此处省略一万字近期国际政治敏感消息)

Now, if you’re some random guy on the Internet with 12followers,you can say shit like this, and it really doesn’t matter. You can say whatever you want about coronavirus.

说回来,你如果只是网上一个普普通通的人,粉丝也就十来个,那你可以这样大放厥词,没关系。关于疫情你想说什么就说什么。

But Donald Trump is not just some random guy. Donald Trump was the star of Celebrity Apprentice. People listen to what he says. So his suggestion about injecting people with a disinfectant has had a massive fallout.

但是特朗普不是普通人,他是《名人学徒》真人秀里的明星人物,他说了什么人们是会听到的。所以他提出的向人体内注射消毒剂的建议已经引发了大范围的可怕后果。

(已经有人真的这么操作而死亡了)

特朗普下一次发言还会提出什么惊天地泣鬼神的说法吗?

靠点儿谱吧,别再随便说话,祸祸美国人民了。

最重要的是:别再甩锅给中国了!

你怎么看?

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