”If evolution is real explain a monkeys existence?” Asked a religious friend of mine.
I replied, ”Education is real but Philistines like you still exist”.
“如果进化论是真的，为什么猴子还会存在？”我一个信教的朋友问我。
我回答：“教育业是真实的，但像你这样的庸人不也还存在吗？”
——Happychopper
I remember this time I was at work and this tasty bitch said to me,
“Hey sexy, how about getting into the shower with me for a hot fuck?”
“Fuck off Rachael, ” I replied, “just get in the shower with the rest of the Jewish cunts. “
我还记得有一次，我正在工作，有个小骚货对我说：
“帅哥，一起洗个热水澡啊？”
“滚蛋，瑞秋，”我说，“赶紧跟着那些犹太佬进浴室。”
——KIMJONGTRUMP发布于 犹太人大屠杀 栏目
Last night before I went to bed I heard my car alarm set off, so I ran to the window and saw 3 kids running away.
Little fucking bastards escaped from the boot again! Damn Peugeot.
昨晚睡觉前，我的车突然响起报警声，我赶紧跑到窗前，只看见三个小孩跑远了。
他妈的小混蛋又从后备箱里跑出来了！垃圾标致！
——HoffmanAssassian
I went to the GP recently.
He stated, ”This might hurt a little bit”.
”Ok, I’m ready”. I replied.
”I only like you as a patient”.
我最近去看医生了。
他一开场就说：“你听后或许会觉得难过。”
“行，我准备好了。”我说。
“我只拿你当病人看。”
——Happychopper
Last night a bloke in the pub sold me a baby Stegosaurus for £400.
I don’t know how pissed I was but when I woke up this morning it’s just a cat with a Toblerone superglued to its back.
昨晚在酒吧，有个人以400英镑的价格卖给了我一只剑龙宝宝。
今早醒来后，我才发现那不过是一只背上粘满三角巧克力的猫，可给我气坏了。
——KIMJONGTRUMP
谢谢snapchat
很真实
@戴眼罩的元让：你盾牌没了
I’m cool with it
把枪给我放下！
价值100万美金的10块钱有多少张
有些人为了健康而过着相当有病的生活。
——Gerhard Uhlenbruck
@天生劣质难自弃:很多人为了健康陷入了焦灼和自责，而我垃圾食品想吃就吃，每天过着悠闲快乐的生活
怕湿哒哒的雨伞水渍让公司保洁阿姨不爽？不如甩锅给猫吧。
——kazoinagaki
Our thinking consists of our language. Hence, maybe dogs’ thinking consists of mental barks.
我们是用我们的语言思考，这样说来，狗就是用犬吠声思考。
——PMmeYOURrareCONTENT
If you had a button that would give you a lot of money but kill someone far away that you did not know you’d have a pretty good model of how our economy works
如果你有一个按钮，每按一次就会有很多钱，但世上会有一个陌生人死亡。
这就是经济运转的方式。
——JierdaStormcrow
If medical advancements gave us all infinitely long lifespans, being sentenced for life in prison would gain a whole new meaning
如果医学能进步到让每个人都长命百岁，被判处无期徒刑就会拥有全新的意义。
——dalve
A fish that is caught and released will most likely never have a stress free meal again for the rest of its life.
被捉到又被放走的鱼可能这辈子都不会再自由地进食。
——tgs0376
周末愉快，明天还会批判性的
更新一篇直男对女性生理相关的无知偏见集锦，
敬请期待！
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