《消失的爱人》（原名《Gone Girl》）讲述的是这样一个故事——
结婚五周年纪念日的早上，尼克·邓恩（本·阿弗莱克 Ben Affleck 饰）来到妹妹玛戈（凯莉·库恩 Carrie Coon 饰）的酒吧，咒骂抱怨那个曾经彼此恩爱缠绵的妻子艾米（罗莎蒙德·派克 Rosamund Pike 饰）以及全然看不见希望的婚姻。当他返回家中时， 却发现客厅留下了暴行的痕迹，而妻子竟不见了踪影。女探员朗达·邦妮（金·迪肯斯 Kim Dickens 饰）接到报案后赶来调查，而现场留下的种种蛛丝马迹似乎昭示着这并非是一件寻常的失踪案，其背后或许隐藏着裂变于夫妻之情的谋杀罪行。艾米的失踪通过媒体大肆渲染和妄加揣测很快闻名全国，品行不端的尼克被推上风口浪尖，至今不见踪影的爱人对他进行无情审判，你侬我侬的甜言蜜语早已化作以血洗血的复仇与折磨……
而这种种事端背后的策划者，竟然就是消失的妻子。
曾经情意拳拳的夫妻逐渐对对方变得冷漠，尼克开始不耐烦艾米，直至发展到出轨，而艾米也不满丈夫，为了照顾婆婆放弃工作跟随丈夫从纽约回到家乡，尼克没有工作也令她感到不满，最终，从cool girl 变成gone girl。
这部电影探讨的是婚姻，而我们今天要说的是在一段感情中，对方做什么最令你灰心。
1. LYING——说谎
When I ask someone how their poor heart was broken the most common answer I receive is that someone lied to them.
当问到对方做什么最伤人心时，大部分人的回答都是说谎。
I’m not talking about the little white lies like telling someone their awful new haircut is ‘really nice’.
这里所说的并不是那些小小地善意的谎言，譬如称赞对方糟糕的新发型很不错之类的。
I’m talking about the important things.
而是那些真正重要的事情。
Lying to your partner is not something that you want to do unless you are looking for ways on how to break their heart.
永远不要对对方撒谎，除非你真的是故意打算要伤透对方的心。
2. CHEATING——出轨
Again it stands to reason that cheating on your partner will never go down well and that old excuse of ‘I thought you cheated, so I did too’ just isn’t good enough.
老话重提，出轨是永远不会有好下场的，那些老掉牙的借口，比如“我以为你出轨了所以我才出的啊”真是逊毙了！
But if you feel passionately about the person that you are cheating with, it might be best for you to break up with your girlfriend before you get involved with someone else.
但如果你对你的出轨对象实在是喜欢得不得了，也许最好的选择是跟你女朋友分手后再去搞其他人。
Cheating is a surefire way on how to break a heart.
出轨是伤人心的不二法宝哟。
surefire：准不会犯错的；一定成功的
3. LEAVING——离开
Sometime you just have to be somewhere else I guess;it’s sad but true.
某些人可能总是因为某些不得已的原因要去某地，虽然悲伤却无可奈何。
By leaving I mean going somewhere else completely like leaving your city or even your whole country;maybe for a job, or to go away to college.
这里所说的离开是指完全离开对方做生活的城市甚至是国家——去工作或求学。
Admittedly it can be just as painful for the one that has to leave too.
不过，离开的那个人也会同样难过。
4. CHANGING——改变
What’s sad about this way to break a heart is that sometimes the change is for the better but your partner just can’t hack it.
改变有时候也能对感情产生伤害，即便是那些好的改变，因为你的另一半可能会跟不上你的步伐。
Becoming more confident, getting a better job, or losing a lot of weight are the usual changes.
变得更自信，找到一份更好的而工作，减肥成功这些都是日常生活中最平常的一些变化。
If he loved you enough it wouldn’t really matter though.
如果够爱，这些都不足为惧。
5. PLAYING——玩弄
Not as in being a ‘playa’ but more as in playing hard to get.
不是指花花公子的那种玩弄，而是搞欲擒故纵。
If you’re determined to break a heart, then pretending to be into them when you’re really not, or even vice versa, is a sure fire way to do it.
如果你明明不喜欢对方，却假装喜欢，这种渣渣行径当然会令对方伤心；反之，亦然。
The worst thing is that when they eventually lose interest you’re also at risk of having your own heart broken.
最糟糕的情况是，当对方已经对你不感兴趣了，你自己却动了真情。
vice versa：反之亦然
6. FLIRTING——调情
Some people like to put flirting in the same category as cheating but it this book it’s definitely not.
很多人会把调情也归类到出轨，但在这本书里，却不是。
The danger here is that a partner can feel inadequate, unloved, and out of the loop.
调情的最大危害是会令对方有不适、不被爱以及不知所然的感觉。
Then again, flirting is part of life and relatively harmless.
调情是生活的一部分，而且相比较而言比较无害。
7. INSULTING——侮辱
Constantly giving grief and teasing your partner about their personality traits can not only lead to low self-esteem but also eventually, heartbreak.
一直拿对象的人品性格打趣不只会使对方的自尊受挫，更重要的会令对方感到伤心。
I mean, what’s the problem.
这才是问题所在。
Someone wise once said that ‘every relationship is a mirror, and we find in our partners the things that we hate in ourselves’.
有位智者这样说过，“每段感情都像一块镜子，我们从对方身上找到自己的缺点。”
8. BOASTING——吹牛
It is one that occurs more to the boys than the girls, but not always.
一般而言，男的比女的爱吹牛，不过也不是总是如此。
See a girl thinks her man is really in love with her for her ‘personality’ when she hears him boasting about how he scored a ‘trophy’.
女孩觉得对方爱上自己是因为她的“个性”，直到她听到自己只是他的“战利品”。
Fail.
真失败啊。
trophy：奖品；战利品；纪念品
9. PRETENDING——假装
This really is a heartbreaker from both sides.
这对双方来说，都是一件令人伤心的事。
Pretending to be in love with someone when it is just not true really makes life hard for both.
假装爱上对方这只会使彼此的人生都变得艰难。
Breaking up is hard too but in the long run it’s just more sensible to get it over and done with.
分手可能很难但是从长期来看确实一个明智的选择。
You should never pretend anything when you are in a relationship.
当你在谈恋爱时，千万不要去假装任何事情。
单身狗是不是很认真的看完了才发现连对象都没。
有对象的，或者有过对象的小伙伴一起来留言讨论——对方做什么最令你伤心。
抱团一起哭。
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